Open letter to Flash owner Brandt Andersen

Dear Brandt:

You seem to be a likable enough guy.  OK, that is probably overstating things a bit.  Bottom line is that we the DLeague fans need stable franchises and stable ownership.  Not every franchise can be run like the Stampede, Wizards and Skyforce and not every franchise can be owned by an NBA team that doesn't get a rats fanny about the petty cash it costs them to run their DLeague franchise.  So like it or not, we have to collectively roll up our sleeves and help those franchises and owners that need it.  And after reading your so-called apology on your blog and your recent interview with AOL Fanhouse in regard to the Michael Jordan/Flash home opener FIASCO and your track record it is clear that the time for an intervention has come.

Yes, we are all very busy; me cheering on the 2009-2010 probable DLeague champs; you and your ace marketing staff coming up with new ideas; Dan Reed trying to erase any evidence that he was even on the scene Monday; kids in the Utah Valley looking for MJ like they look for Santa Claus and everyone else, rubbernecking the whole thing like a car wreck on I-15.  However when faced with something so hideous and foul as we were exposed to Monday night, it is our duty to quickly re-prioritize our busy schedules and assist you getting to the bottom of this and getting it fixed once and for all.

I will be brief - so please listen up and pay attention (this goes for all your "yes" men as well - maybe they will win the lottery too someday and own a DLeague team and we don't want to have to repeat ourselves).

Brandt, your playbook is after the jump...

First and foremost this MJ/BRuss thing was actually a good plan:  The BRuss/Jordan challenge was actually a heck of an idea.  A little contrived, but all in all played right to your constituents, bitter Jazz fans. Don't kill the baby.

The execution? - well that was another story:  To say that you and the Flash staff handled this like Karl Malone on the blocks at crunch time would be giving you too much credit.

  • It is not Jordan's fault for not playing into this in any way, shape or form.  Unless he signed a contract that said he was going to be there, he had no obligation to even entertain any thoughts of Orem, Utah.  He is not a loser/quitter/frady-cat for blowing this off.  Every time you even make it even look like it might be .01% Jordan's fault for not showing, it reflects poorly on you and your franchise.  
  • Have a realistic "Plan B" ready to go.  The time it took you and your lackeys spent doing a fake "Jordan sighting" would been better spent by getting the Jr. Honey Bees from Patty's Dance School in Lehi ready to perform as the half time entertainment, you know, in case the crowd got surly. 

Finally, as Nixon found out - it is the cover up that kills you:  When the the plan signaled "abort" continuing the charade that Jordan was in Orem and would need "no introduction" it ceased to be a practical joke - IT WAS A LIE.  And the people selling it WERE LIARS.  To cloak this whole cover-up as a "viral marketing campaign" like this was part of some grand "plan" makes us all feel stupider for even having to listen to it.  To shove this whole cluster back on some of your fans by talking down to them that they just "didn't get the joke" makes you sound like a real A-Hole.  Brandt, even if you are a real A-Hole, you should stud up and take your medicine like a man. 

Here is what you should have written and STILL CAN:  "To Flash fans in attendance and fans of DLeague basketball:  I take entire responsibility for for the debacle Monday evening.  While myself and our staff had the best intentions, clearly it did not go well.  As the owner, I take complete responsibility.  This is not on Michael Jordan, it is not on our fans, it is on me.  Please accept my apology and rest assured I will give much more thought before coming up with a promotion like this again.  I know there is no way I can compensate you for your lost evening, but if you would like a refund or a set of tickets for a future Flash game, please contact me and I will make it up to you.  What you saw Monday was not indicative of the DLeague or the Utah Flash.  I realized that I have deservedly lost the trust of some of you and starting now I want to do what I can to earn it back."

Finally, don't waste time telling us that this is what you HAVE been saying either.  Every caveat, every innuendo, every blame, every misdirection you write or spout takes away from that message until the apology that needs to be there ain't there no more.

To save us all time in the future, feel free to keep a copy of this message for the next time you and team Flash step in it.

I would like to say my work is done, but I know that it takes a while to penetrate that concrete skull of yours (based on the fact you have yet to publicly apologize to Coach Bob MacKinnon for your completely unjustified outburst last season while he was kicking your butt as Colorado's coach).  Bottom line is Brandt, we the DLeague fans need you to get your $&!t together if we are to have the second best basketball league in the world available to all of us.

No need to thank me, just re-read and git 'r done so we can put this all behind us.



Your pal, Rumble, DLeague fan

This is a FanPost, not the work of the author of Ridiculous Upside. The People speak! Questions or comments about this post should be addressed in the comments. To issue a complaint about this FanPost, please email ridiculousupside (at) gmail (dot) com.

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