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Twittering NBA D-Leaguers: An Investigative Report

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Typically I report on puff pieces (How you can tell this is serious: No picture OR youtube!), but lately I've been inspired by the work of D-League Digest's Steve Weinman to do some investigative reporting. there's recently become a trend in the D-League just too difficult to ignore: Twitter.  Twitter is an epidemic sweeping the nation, so I'm told, and recently it's even baited a bevy of D-League players into its seductive trap.

"Wait, everyone has Twitter! Even you have Twitter, Scott!"  Yes, you're right about that.  I use it to connect with the World and tweet about Ridiculous Upside related happenings (and occasionally post sweet videos like this and this).  Being an unemployed writer (or unemployed whatever gets me hired next, I guess - I could technically be an unemployed urinal cleaner right now) I hope to show the world that I'm witty, funny AND knowledgeable, plus have plenty of time to write about whatever needs writing about while gaining followers/a wider readership.  It hasn't worked yet, but I was tweeted at by ESPN's Marc Stein, Yahoo!'s Andrian Wojnarowski and CBS Sports' Ken Berger, among others, last week upon breaking the Hasheem Thabeet story, so hopefully I'm making progress.

In that same sense, I'd prefer D-League players to try to consider Twitter as a possible venue to help get them a job.  I know it seems a bit far-fetched, but with teams looking for every possible reason to not call-up a D-League player (until the last 72 hours or so, anyway), it'd seem prudent to be on the best behavior possible while tweeting what the world can see.  If I were an agent, I'd recommend my players tweet nothing but boring:

Jus woke up. It's bright out. Brkfast time, then hittin the gym  to get xtra work in w/ coach

Just got done at the gym. Lotsa shots up. Jumpers feelin good, D improving 2.

Dinner time. Probably gonna watch a movie tonite. Comedies are my favorite!

If an NBA team googles that player and their twitter page comes up, it's not going to be a red flag.  In fact, they may consider him a character guy, adding to his stock.  Maybe. I don't know, I obviously don't work for an NBA team, but when I do, these will be the types of things that could differentiate players in my opinion (along with the obvious things, of course).  Of course the alternative would be just to not have a twitter account, but then they'd be out of touch like TAFKAMB, and that's never a good thing.

After the jump, I'll break down a couple of D-League Tweeters!

One of the most famous of these tweeters, as SBNation points out, is apparently the Springfield Armor's Mo AlmondHis tweets, as far as I can tell, are that of a crazy person coded so I'm unable to break them down.  Take the following few:

fascinated with foreign felines. that's by de-sign.

if it looks easy. that's because it is.

tabulate the statistics. congratulate the victors.

I like this.  I'm not sure if it's related to basketball (he does make it look easy) or something he heard in a song or just things he randomly thinks, but there aren't any red flags.  No NBA GM is going to read through his timeline and say anything worse than "Oh, Mo Almond has a Twitter account. Interesting."  And ultimately, that's what's needed - no reason not to FreeMoAlmond.

The other famous D-League tweeter is Mr. Boom Tho himself, Rod Benson.  His tweets aren't so abstract, but they're pretty red flagless as well, as far as I can tell:

Women seem to hate their 23rd birthday. Men dont care til 30. Glad I have a Y chromosome.

What y'all doin tonight? I bought a single ticket for Percy Jackson an the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. BIG TIME Friday night

That said, I stayed in last night so I could go get a lift in right now before we travel. Thanks to all who came to see me in MA

This is basically what I'm asking for.  Apparently his Berkeley education wasn't wasted.

On the other hand... I'm not going to single out D-League players that don't tweet what I'd like them to, but here's a sample of tweets I've seen that I personally wouldn't tweet if I was playing for a call-up:

Q:Would u have sex with a stripper? A:No comment! lol

#iREFUSEto handcuff...especially if she's ___ half da crew awready...

Q:Ass or tits?

What do you think? Am I going overboard?  Have I somehow turned into an internet-aged version of an old man yelling at the neighborhood kids to get off my lawn? Am I justified in just looking out for these players? Do you think I'll ever be able to get a job if I keep tweeting?