Your Ridiculous Upside Dallas All-Star Weekend Travel Guide

Let me clear one thing up right off the bat.  I don't live in Dallas.  So this won't be an in-depth "I know where the secret clubs are" post.  However, I have visited Dallas - twice!  So I know what it's like to sit around thinking "so...what do we do tonight?  What do you mean the liquor store is closed?"  There will be a lot of basketball events going on, but if you want to take a break or can't get in to any of the parties, there's also time to kill.  From a Dallas Austin resident to you visitors out there, here are some things to check out if you're looking for something to do.

Food!

So you've come to Texas, and you're ready for some of that famous BBQ and/or Tex-Mex food, right?  Well...you will find it, but North Texas is known more for its steakhouses and burger joints.  Texas Monthly magazine recently rated burgers across the state, and the best they found was in Dallas, along with plenty more among the top 50.  And don't worry, basketball players!  I'm sure there's a Cheesecake Factory somewhere, plus Chili's was founded in Dallas and Macaroni Grill is headquartered there.

Fort Worth!

The "FW" part of "DFW Airport" is less than an hour's drive.  Visit the Stockyards!  This former...well, stockyard (hence all the burgers and steaks) is now a bustling historic district with semi-touristy bars and restaurants!  You will see people wearing cowboy hats!  Take pictures to show the big city folk back home!  If you ask to pose with one of them, though, they may punch you.

Boots!

Buy some cowboy boots!  I hadn' t lived in Texas but a few months before my relatives started asking me if I had any cowboy boots yet.  I'm sure your friends will wonder the same thing!  Don't worry about breaking them in or even trying them on!  Just buy some to show the big city folk back home!  Get the craziest design you can find.  YOU ARE A REAL TEXAN NOW.

Reasonably-priced pants!

JCPenney is headquartered in Dallas, so buy all the Haggar slacks you can.  YOU ARE A REAL TEXAN NOW.

Assassination vacation!

Dallas is, of course, where John F. Kennedy was killed.  There's a museum all about it, and it's pretty neat!  It's in the former book depository.  Yes, that book depository.  Read and watch all about the events of that day, then test out your favorite conspiracy theories by standing on the grassy knoll.  Yes, that grassy knoll.

Internet radio!

If you're a basketball writer holed up in your hotel room working on deadline, why not enjoy the sounds of the University of Texas-Dallas radio station?  One of my visits to Dallas was for a college media conference hosted by UTD, and they're good people.  It's free-form radio, which doesn't mean bad!  Honest!

Yes, Texas has art you jerk!

Check out the Deep Ellum neighborhood!  They have many music clubs, ranging from the good to the touristy.  There also are several museums and a performing arts center.  Good news, everyone!  You're just in time to catch the "sexy pop musical" Give it Up!, which is being billed as Lysistrata meets High School Musical.  FINALLY!

Comedy!

Tommy Davidson is at the Dallas Improv through Sunday.  Go see him gently mock couples who are celebrating Valentine's Day at a comedy show and enjoy his Sammy Davis Jr. impression!

People in better shape than you!

Dallas is having its annual 5k Mardi Gras run at the convention center on Saturday.  Be sure to show up with a beer in one hand and a steak in the other as you cheer on the runner, and share with them Charles Barkley's sage words, "round is a shape."

Enjoy Dallas!